Eulogy of my Contemplation

The sly, dim-witted evil devil stood motionless. He was thinking how to create havoc in the world. He thought of many ideas, but nothing seemed appropriate. Of course, being a dim-witted devil, he would take hours and hours to come up with an idea. Nevertheless, the evil devil is a determined creature. Remembering the promise he made to the seven Mojoojojoo of the Very Evil Land, the devil shivered. He knew he would become a pulp if he failed to come up with a brilliant plan. So he went on contemplating, until finally, a brilliant idea struck him. He felt tremendous pain as the lightning fast idea hit him on the head, coupled with a huge shining lightbulb popping out of thin air on top of his head. He picked up the brilliant idea from the floor, noticing the dent from the collision with his head. He opened the parcel and started reading the article. It says:

Dear dim-witted evil devil,

We are from the department of evilly brilliant ideas. After much evil discussion and planning, we have come up with a brilliant idea as you have wished. Please refer to the appendix 17.a of the parcel for the brilliant plan. It has been a great evil experience to come up with the idea. My team and I wish you all the best and a very good LUCK!

Evilly Evil Devil
Director of Devils relation
Department of Evilly Brilliant Ideas

The dim-witted evil devil tore the sealed envelop, with huge Appendix 17.A printed on the front, impatiently. He glanced through the evilly brilliant idea and a wickedly evil grin appeared on the devil's face. He started giggling evilly, delighted at the brilliantness of the evilly brilliant idea. The dim-witted evil devil would finally have revenge upon the world of humanity and wreak havoc!

"It's time to conquer the world!!" yelled the dim-witted evil devil.

Have you ever wondered why, that a delivery by car or land vehicles is called shipment while a delivery by ships are called cargo? It's an irony! Or was it just that the Oxford English faculty trying to be funny? I've decided to investigate the reason why this is so. So far, I've already gathered a league of nerds, AHEM, i mean academics to study is strange phenomenon. They are highly educated people, consisting of mostly Ph.Ds of various different faculties in the world.

We had a long discussion with the academics, we've debated, argued and even got involved in a cat fight, No no.. not girls fighting but rather watching cats fight on the street. *Well, we apparently had the meeting in this strange place where cats population seemed to have boomed.* Gladly, we have come to agree on certain facts about this phenomenon. First, it's funny. HAHA. Second, it's funny! HAHAHA Third, it's funny! HAHAHAHA. ^_________^

My competent group of academics comprising of PE teachers, nuclear scientists, astronomers as well as zoologists have eventually come up with a brilliant theory regarding the phenomenon. It is a fact that cars was only invented much later than ships. I would say, at least a few thousand years before cars were invented by Nicholas Cugnot, our ancestors or primates, have already started to transport objects by sea. The word 'cargo' was actually a Spanish word which mean burden. The English just adopted the word... Ha! Lazy bumps! Eventually, when people get used to objects being transported by sea, they took the word ship for granted. They got so used to thinking that the majority of things transported are by ships that they eventually call things transported by land, a shipment!

Inside the box is where the mind is. The box doesn't have any opening, it traps the mind in it. A little world of serenity and calmness lies within the enclosed space, sheltering the mind from the outside world; mind can only wander thus far. In this tiny little world of the mind, there lies the image of self. There it was, Me myself and I. Everything reacts and evolve around the majestic ruler of the tiny world. In isolation the being stood with authority over everything else. Through its authority the sun sets in the north and rise from the south. The ocean is waveless and the sky is white. So there it is, the being stands afloat the clear reflective water. Motionless, Me myself and I smile innocently. The world of isolation, the world of paradise. Me myself and I rules it all.

“It has been one of my strangest experiences ever, having to carry out a mission to survey this blue planet that is located within Star system W. The planet is called "Earth" by the inhabitants and it is the only planet that bores living things on its surface in the star system. Intriguingly, the planet is inhabited by a species of mammals (a type of animal that care and feed their young) that has evolved into a highly intelligent being. The planet itself is also inhabited by thousands of other inferior species that varies from a very large size (approximately 10-20 meter cube) to a tiny nano sized organism.

Similar to us, they are humanoids and they communicate to each other.However, unlike us, they communicate verbally rather than psychologically. It is highly interesting to witness these so called "Humans" carry out their daily lives. Despite their crude necessity such as to feed on organic materials, humans have a delicate side of them as well, such as to care for others and creation of beautiful, often strange works of art. Being a species which is able to think and reason, they have progressed greatly for the past 200 years. This is mainly due to the advancement of ideology, technology and the decreasing cultural gap between the races of the species itself.

Being an emotional social creature, humans carry out many strange activities that I have never seen before. With their ability to reason often greatly influenced by their emotion, human beings are often become illogical in their actions and behaviour. They may even carry out self-mutilation and other attempts to end their existence. Their natural instinct to reproduce themselves through physical and psychological connection is questionable. The newborn is then conceived within the body of the female until it has fully developed into an independent being.

(Please Refer to: HUMAN ANATOMY AND ITS BEHAVIOUR)

Through the new found peace and prosperity after the so called "World War II", human beings are beginning to progress and unite under the same identity. Humans of many races around the world are beginning to come together and set aside their differences. An estimate shows that in approximately another century, this highly intelligent being would progress into a well developed planet that will be of a significant influence within XZ quadrant, scientifically and militarily.

(ATTACHED: HUMAN HISTORY)

I urge the Council of Supreme Command to consider the threat that this species poses to us and take necessary actions.

Report by Wakkatub (ID: XGH9281JOP431.102) of the Higher Intelligence Agency.”

Intercepted, decrypted and Translated on 3/29/2005 2:29 AM.